German Men and Romance: Everything You Need to Know

This post may include affiliate links, including Amazon Associate links. I may earn money if you click on one at no extra cost to you.

German men will likely never flirt with you as an Italian would. Nor will they shower you with romance as the French would.  Romance in Germany is more subtle.

It’s like an onion, exposing itself one layer at a time instead of all at once, but no less flavorful.

In my 20s I would have considered dating a German guy boring. In my 30s it became sexy. So much so that I had a 9 1/2 year relationship with one. 

what you need to know about dating German men

So what’s it really like dating a German guy?

When a German guy says he’ll call, he’ll call.

If he likes you, he may even call the next day.  Germans have rules for almost everything. But apparently waiting two days to call so that he doesn’t appear desperate is not one of them.

Be forewarned; he’ll call because he promised he would. It’s not necessarily because he likes you.

He may just be calling you to inform you that he doesn’t like you, and doesn’t want to see you again. But he promised he’d call, so he is.  (This has happened to dozens of friends of mine in Munich.)

German Guys Will Be On Time When They Meet You for a Date.

what it's like to date a German guy

Germans are sticklers for being on time. If you agree to meet at a restaurant at 8:00, he will be there waiting at 7:59 and not keep you waiting.  On the flip side, he expects the same of you. So be on time.

There’s no playing “will he show, or not show” games with German men. If he says he’ll be there, he will. You won’t have to worry about trying to convince the waiter that your date is only running an hour late.

Your German Guy Will Want to Go on Vacation Together

Most Germans love to travel, and they have a lot of holidays compared to North Americans.  If he likes you, he will want to include you in those travel plans. He may even do all the research and pre-trip planning as well as my partner did when we were dating.

You can impress him by showing that you’ve also done your research with these travel tips. Related:  4 Reasons to Turn a Holiday Romance into the Real Thing and 5 Tips for Keeping a Holiday Romance Going Strong.

German Guys Are Honest. Sometimes Brutally So

If a German guy says something, chances are you can believe him.  When he says “I love you,” he most likely means it.  When he says he sees a future with you, he means it. When he says he doesn’t like Christmas markets but will go with you anyway, it means he likes you.

On the other hand, if things aren’t going in the right direction,  he will also be brutally honest about why he is ending it.

There’s none of this it’s not me, it’s you. When you’re dating a German man, it’s probably you. 

He’ll tell you why he doesn’t like you, or why it’s not working. For better or for worse, you will know where you stand with your German guy.

He will also be honest about whether he likes the gift you’ve just bought him. This is one of the hardest lessons I’ve experienced being an expat in Germany.

You need a thick skin when it comes to dating German men.

German Men Will Plan Dates in Advance

dating a German man

No more waiting until Thursday to see if he’s going to call and ask you out for Friday night.  Most German men would never dream of asking a girl out with only one-day notice.

He will ask at least several days in advance,  assuming that you have your life planned out in advance as he does.

He’s also likely to ask you to do something based on a shared interest. For example, going on a hike together.

Germans often meet someone from a common interest group, so if you want to date a German, find a hobby group and attend regularly. Dating is a lot like making friends – it takes time.

German Men Expect You to Pay Your Share

what it's like to dating German men

Having a German guy = lots of fun, romantic vacations together. I met my then German partner while on vacation.

Just be prepared to pay your share.  Many German guys are all about going “Dutch”.  In fairness to them, this is because many German girls are also about going “dutch” so they’ve used to this.

Besides, he’s probably putting the money he saved for your half of the trip away for your future together. Or his future with someone else as the case may be. German men like to save money and they can be tight with it. Remind him that flowers from the grocery store are cheap ;).

If You’re Living in Germany, He’ll Help You Navigate Through German Bureaucracy

This doesn’t sound very romantic. But anyone who’s an expat in Germany and has tried to get a work/marriage visa, insurance, or file taxes in Germany knows how utterly frustrating it can be.

You’ll be eternally grateful for all of the countless phone calls and visits to the Ausländerbehörde (Foreigner Office) he makes on your behalf.

German Men Do Open Up. It Just Takes a While

romance in Germany

Many expat women find German men cold at first.  Germans prefer to think of themselves as reserved.

Regardless, once you get to know a German man, you will see his warmer, funnier side. Yes, Germans can be funny. He doesn’t show this to just anyone, so consider yourself special if he’s showing it to you.

Your German Guy May Take Some Time to Grow On You

Have you been swept off your feet yet?  No?  Just wait a while. German men take some time to grow on you.

 Like when my then partner came home for lunch for the first time in 12 years, because he missed me and thought I might be lonely. Or how he stayed 14 hours straight at the hospital when I had knee surgery.

Or how he took me to castles every weekend when I didn’t have any friends when I first moved to Germany.

Or how he moved to Munich since he thought it would be easier for me to settle in. You get the picture.

German men will show you they care about you in all sorts of ways. You just have to be open enough to see it.

I also recommend this book, the 5 Love Languages.

While it doesn’t offer specific advice for dating Germans, it will help you understand your German guy, or man from any nationality better.

what it's like to date German men

See more places to visit in Germany.

Enjoyed this content? Please share:

148 thoughts on “German Men and Romance: Everything You Need to Know”

  1. @Andi – Haha, well the not playing games thing, does make relationships more straight forward. I was sooooo not German before I met my husband but have since adapted rather nicely.

    Reply
    • Thanks for information. I’m dating a German Guy on line. He is so romantic. Grateful of every thing. Promise to atmost best. I’m enjoying have smile every time he send me massages. I love him dearly.

      Reply
        • Im not seeing any of this.
          The men here are ….boring. period.
          A successful date for me is one where he opens the door and doesnt mention Trump (im american).
          My standards have SIGNIFICANTLY lowered because these men are NOT romantic.at.all. unless its like yoyr idea of whats romantic as a 13 year old virgin.

          My friends do these things mentioned in the article as romantic. So you would think someone you are intimate with would do a little more.

          And German men WILL waste your time. If they like you it takes them fiftyleven years to even hold your damn hand or god forbid..you meet online. It takes 20 years to meet. And for me, the wait is NEVER worth it

          Reply
          • Thank you for the message! I am dating a German guy ? And he is very special to me and I really love and appreciate him ? I have been talking to him for 8 months and he’s really a kind nice person? I had a brain aneurysm surgery and he was away when I had my surgery ? But he would call me every day to see how I was doing after my surgery? What a blessing he is to me in the name of Jesus?

          • I met a german in the UK and we have a relationship now for the past 8 months. Now he is back in Germany and he invited me to spend Christmas with his family! Is a really serious invitation?! What does it mean to know his whole family?

          • @Ana – Congrats! Yes, it’s a serious invitation and Christmas is a big deal so it sounds like he really cares for you. Best of luck and let me know how it goes.

      • So, do German men text or write (whatsapp) sweet greetings? Like we have exchanged chats throughout the day a few times spanning a week but not daily… only met him online (interest group). We seem so similar… it shocks us both in fact. Should I expect such things after we have met only or maybe after a month online? We both travel a lot and could meet up but only discussed Jan and his next year’s work meeting at this point. That was before we began chatting more frequently. He is 50 and super young looking. I am 41. He is soooo kind.

        Reply
        • In my experience, German men will keep in contact regularly but they’re not necessarily known for their sweet greetings (generally speaking of course).

          I think it’s a good sign if he’s in regular contact and that at this point daily contact wouldn’t be usual for a German guy.

          He sounds great, hope that it works out.

          Reply
        • Online correspondence remains continuous. We met in Amsterdam. Was lovely. We are so connected. Spent full day together; no heavy stuff but we were both so comfy. He revealed something daunting after I flew home. He is so open just a door wide open… he has chosen to be a boytoy of a married woman (in her open marriage) as a result of undeniable scars/pain in his past. We had heartful, grounded discussion) and he heard my piece. I understand his brokenness but we both agree how unique our situation is. I suspect this has ended but I do not want to ask honestly. Our frienship is wonderful and growing so grand. He truly believes he can protect his heart in this manner. But then he met me… he often mentions our obvious likeness in every way. It is clear to all, even our appearance. He is always open to planning with me. He gave me his next stateside dates for worktrip with plans on end to spend ending 3-4 days with me. That will be in Feb. though. I would like to meet him in Dec. maybe in our fav spot Cuba.
          Following a Saturday virtual boatshow meetup and tour of a boat, and evening laughs before our separate night fun outings (he in his town, me in mine), I texted a few pics of me from dock next morning which is a usual thing but no more texts to him since then. He has not replied to them either… I wanted to give him some space… want him to miss me. Want him to deep think. On occasion he lets certain words slip out which seems like adoration… (we record chats and send each other videos.) Phone cxn on whatsapp not strong. How should I proceed?

          Reply
  2. Great insight. I have German ancestry- way back- but perhaps that is where my need to be on time (ok a bit early) comes from. And as my hubby will tell you, when we met I was very upfront about what I was looking for. I shared my list with him- girlfriends thought I was nuts. But in my 30s I needed that German clarity!

    Reply
    • Hallow,thank you for the great informations.
      I am in a long distance relationship with an awesome and wonderful German men.he is in Germany and I in Namibia.we have been in touch for close to six months now.

      We do communicate almost every day but at time when I ask a question(s) via a text or voice message,he wouldn’t reply but did read the message.
      Should I be worried?

      Reply
      • @Yatty – Glad that it was useful. I’d ask him. Germans are direct and he’ll most likely give you an honest answer as to why he doesn’t respond to your questions. Best of luck.

        Reply
  3. I just love your take on us Germans.Having spent far more time abroad than in Germany I have little German romances to look back upon. Now I wonder if that is good or bad. Maybe I could try my luck with a young at heart old age pensioner in Germany? On second thoughts…..no, I’ll still go for the Saudi prince of my dreams.

    Reply
  4. @Sue – It sounds like your German-ness has followed you to Canada. I think getting clarity when you’re in your 30s is a good thing. I did the same thing when I first met J.P. I think most guys would have gone running, but he appreciated that I didn’t want to start anything when we were over 8000km apart if we had different ideas of what we both wanted.

    @Inka – The Saudi prince sounds more like your style 🙂

    Reply
  5. Sounds like you found a great one 🙂 Love your perspective on us Germans! Love the whole “he’ll call when he says he’ll call” thing. I was soooo confused when I first moved to Texas and people (men, women, anybody!) would keep talking about calling me and I didn’t even have a phone… sigh, that’s before I found out that really it means “bye” when somebody says they’ll call you 90% of the time 🙂 Haha! You just made me realize how German I am despite having been gone for a while now.

    Reply
  6. @Italian Notes – Thanks, glad I convinced you 🙂

    @Henry – Good question, given that Valentines Day is not super popular in Germany.

    @Sabrina – I love hearing your German perspective now that you’re living in the U.S. I had a German friend in Canada and it took her a while to realize that when people say “I’ll call you” they may/or may not mean it. I like the German way for this much better, way less confusing and I think I’ll keep J.P. 🙂

    Reply
  7. The whole package actually sounds pretty good! I don’t have much stereotypes about German guys actually, other than I *probably* wouldn’t think of German as a sexy language. And even then, what do I know?!

    One thing that surprised me when I was traveling last winter, is that a lot of German seemed to travel as two couples, i.e. two guys and two girls.

    Reply
  8. Laurel, excellent perspective of german guys! I am so glad with my german boyfriend, I feel protected and safe, because he means what he speaks… so hard to find in Brazilian men…! thank you for sharing your point of view and give me more basis to my feelings! I lived it! Cheers!

    Reply
    • I just knew a German guy on the internet. We writoe to each other alot every day. And step by step i felt in love with him and i thought the he got the same way in me as he planed a trip for this Christmas to come to my country. He also planed for our future … We were so happy and shared anything we did daily to each other. But… maybe he wont do what he promised or planed. He ignored my calls and sms after his Berlin business trip last Saturday. We still chatted abit at night of that day, and he said he would write to me next day and he also ensured that our relationship is not dying. However, i did not receive any news from him later…
      I think we are over, even that we cant be normal friends anymore.
      I just dont know what really happened with him and with us. I have blamed myself that if i did something wrong to make him angry? He just ignored all my calls and sms, but he does not blocked me or delete my contact.
      Can you guys tell me why? And what can i do now.?
      Thank you!

      Reply
    • i have german crush, we are close like keep in touch like every day, when i very so demanding/anger he so full of patient, he gave me flower. but some moment when i said i miss him, replied me by asking why? and he said because he was expecting me to say something sweet. after that he replied me with i miss you too my dear friend.
      i was shock, is that mean from all the time he just think me as a friend or what?

      Reply
      • I’d ask him if he just considers you a friend or something more. The good thing about most German men is that they’re honest – even if it’s something that you don’t want to hear. Best of luck.

        Reply
  9. A guy that plans (!! Turns head, that is amazing.)
    A guy that is honest (!!! O_O a little scared but better than someone who does not speak the truth and do not open up at all)
    A guy that will want to go on vacation together (!!!!! wow that is nice, means he does think about the relationship)

    I can totally see why you married your hubby ^^

    I hope I have chances to meet some German guys in the future XDDD hahaha ~

    Reply
  10. I have to concur with all that you’ve said – my German partner is thoughtful, funny & absolutely honest, and now I wouldn’t have it any other way.
    He brought flowers every week when we were dating (& still makes sure there are flowers in the house), spoils me on birthdays, christmas & valentines and is happy to “invite” me for meals when he knows it’s a while before my payday!

    We’ve just found out that we’re moving from the UK to Stuttgart (he’s just been offered a job there) so any hints & tips you can give me on Stuttgart life would be much appreciated – anything from language school to where the best places to shop, eat etc. are – we visited at the weekend & although it was freezing it seemed like a nice city.

    Reply
  11. I like the upfront honesty you ascribe to German men rather than the juvenile gamesmanship of some other cultures. I was told that a man can ‘tell’ you he loves you all he wants, but the ones who ‘show’ you through the little things that build a life together are worth their weight in gold. Nice story in the Telegraph – Happy Valentine’s Day!

    Reply
  12. The thing about guys not paying for girls kinda bugs me — I mean where’s the incentive for the girl if he’s never going to pick up the tab and show he’s really into her? And it’s definitely a common thing over here — although I think some Americans have started picking up on that as well.

    My German Latin lover (inside joke from a stupid dating show on MTV where the girl referred to a French guy as a Latin lover — cause it’s totally close to the same thing, right?) certainly has a more romantic flair than I do at times. And he’s more sentimental. I think that any girl who ends up with a German guy is lucky, because they can often be very giving and aware of your needs. Of course my guy lived in the US for his formidable teen years, so perhaps that doesn’t count 🙂

    Reply
  13. This is totally my kind of romance! On time? Does what he says? Plans things in advance? That kind of stuff is amazing. 😀

    Reply
  14. I didn’t date so much in Germany, so I have no clue how close the German women fall to this. I assume there is some similarity. At least an interesting read.
    Though when I go out to the bars with friends and do our normal people watching, it is often hard to tell the couples. Germans seem to socialize in larger groups.

    Reply
  15. I clearly need to relocate to Germany. I do a lot of the above and it’s just not appreciated by Aussie girls. The rules are very much ingrained here. It’s too fast and loose, haha.

    That and, let’s face it, German girls are gorgeous.

    Reply
  16. During my two years in Germany, I only dated one german man – a guy who was funny, a planner and took me to probably one of the most unexpected first dates (at that time, that is, while being a student). He picked me up in his car without telling me where we were going) and so we ended up in a neighboring town having a very regional dinner with wine in an old watermill, overlooking a beautiful bridge.
    I was seriously impressed as I thought it was overly romantic!

    Reply
  17. I think its hilarious how Americans say that Germans are cold and closed off all the time because we aren’t. We just aren’t fake. I hear it almost every day at work. Most people don’t realize I’m German when they first meet me because my dad is American, I have no accent in English, so I hear the gripes and complaints.

    I definitely had culture shock in the states with the super friendliness, fake friendliness at that. I never really know what to say so people think I’m the weird one LOL I’ve had people tell me their life stories after knowing them 5 minutes and I find it awkward and uncomfortable. I honestly have no idea how to respond because I don’t know them.

    As a rule in Germany, once you break the ice, everything is fine. And if you have no clue what to talk about with someone to get rid of that awkward silence, you can never go wrong with the weather. Germans LOVE talking weather, weird but true. We love to talk but until we know someone, we won’t be telling a person about our latest gynecology appointment in line at the grocery store (true story -.-)

    Reply
  18. @Zhu – I’ve live in Germany and still don’t find the German language sexy. Traveling in couples or with friends is popular in Germany. J.P.’s friends will often travel in a large group of couples with children in tow. It looks like a lot of fun.

    @Andreza – Glad to hear that you’ve found happiness with a German guy. The honesty took me a while to get used to, but now that I’m used to it, I would find it difficult to be with someone more indirect.

    @Ayngelina – Maybe, if he really doesn’t like you, he won’t bother to say that he’ll call, but if he’s not sure, he’ll say he’ll call you, think it over and then deliver the verdict.

    @Annie – I know right? Come to Germany and I’ll introduce you to a few guys 🙂

    @Jo – sounds like you’ve found a great one and I love the flowers, my hubby is good at doing that too. Too funny that your guy also says that he’ll “invite” you, J.P. still says that too, even though we’re married. Best of luck with your move to Stuttgart, I really enjoyed the Expat Dinner Club (you can find it on Facebook), there’s also an Internations chapter and I attended IFA language school, which is tough,but thorough.

    @Linda – I agree, actions speak louder than words and mean more. Thanks for your kind words about our Telegraph story.

    @Tiffany – I found the paying thing confusing at first and slightly annoying as well. I agree that German guys can be very giving. I wish J.P. had lived in Canada or the U.S. before we went, but he’s slowly adopting some Canadian traits.

    @Christy – Agreed, it would have been boring when I was 20, but in my 30s this is the kind of stuff that I like.

    @Andrew – I would assume there’s a lot of similarity for German women as well, but I haven’t dated any German women either.

    @Chris – Yes, move to Germany, where you will be appreciated by the women – as long as you don’t mind if they make plans in advance 🙂

    @Katherina – That is incredibly romantic, especially for a first date! Most Germans I know are more pragmatic on a first date, preferring to meet for coffee or a drink.

    @Jessica – I admit that I was one of those people who thought Germans were cold at first as well – until I understood the reason why Germans are like that. To be honest I hadn’t considered being friendly “fake” until I moved to Germany and heard the German perspective. I agree that many North Americans overshare, especially when they don’t know someone very well. My husband has accused me of this as well in Germany, even when I think I’m being conservative with what I say. Germans are also more comfortable with silence than North Americans are – something that I admire.

    Reply
  19. In a way it’s sad that they may call just to say they don’t like you but I think that’s better than leaving a girl hanging. German specific or not I have to agree that the qualities you list are good to have.

    Reply
  20. I loved reading this. Finding bloggers in Germany that are not German is a hobby of mine! My favorite part of your blog was that German men will call you, maybe if just to tell you they don’t like you, because they said they would. German rules! Just recently I asked my German friends for a secret copy of the book I know must exist, The Very Official and Lengthy Book of German Rules. I imagine it’s 3000 pages long and I want a copy, primarily so I can check off the rules I break daily. Thanks for the blog!

    Reply
  21. When you put it like that it makes German guys sounds pretty attractive to my German ears 🙂 you guys sounds like a great couple btw. Congratulations on having found each other!

    Reply
  22. I think this is a good article. I have just started seeing somebody from East Germany…he is warmer than most West Germans, we both remember a time when Communism was a factor, but he is typically German none the less. The most important thing to remember is that German men are unfailingly honest and they do have a strict moral code, well most of them. Those from decent families…they have high expectations of themselves and others. If my boyfriend emails me to say he can’t meet our skype session, you can believe it’s true, no hanky panky. Honestly, he’s working harder than ever because he wants to come back to the States to see me. German men are very goal oriented when it comes to work. This guy has financial goals and everything he does feeds into that….and the reason for the goal? Me. No, he doesn’t profess his love or tell me all the time how sexy or cute I am. That is something German men don’t think to do…not sure why. But he is making me a priority by earning enough money to come back soon, maybe spend the winter here and maybe pack up and move his business here, all of which we are starting to plan for now. I like this practical forward momentum,. German men don’t require guesswork, and I like that after all the other BS I’ve seen.

    Reply
    • And yes he pays for almost everything; another reason why work is important. He’s thinking of my finances, it appears.

      Reply
    • @Heather – Thanks so much for sharing your experience. Glad to hear that you’re having such a positive experience with a German man. I agree, being with someone hardworking and straight forward who doesn’t play games is a very nice change :). Let me know how it works out for you.

      Reply
  23. Hello Laurel

    I will be leaving in two weeks to see a German man in Munich. I am not sure if it was because I was brought up by German Grandparents or not but I find my guys approach to our relationship a breath of fresh air. He is funny, smart, passionate in what is important to him, a hard worker, and he does those “little” things that are important to me.

    I am not your typical American girl, but raised in America none the less so I enjoyed seeing your insight on German men. It gives me a “general” idea of what to expect while living in his world for 2 weeks. Thank you 🙂

    Reply
    • @Chelle – Best of luck. I hope it goes fabulous for you. The “little things” are what’s important. I found a few of my husband’s German traits a bit difficult to get used to at first, but I do appreciate the honesty and straight forward approach. Let me know how it goes – fingers crossed for you!

      Reply
  24. Gosh, I loved this post! This just checked off all my dude requirements, for real. That on top of being totally gobsmacked by the hordes of gorgeous, polite gents when I was in Munich – maybe this is the sign of where I should move to next 🙂

    Reply
  25. Love this article! I am Canadian but have been very impressed by how polite and down to earth Germans are. I agree with you, German men are very underrated! 🙂

    Reply
      • Well, I went to Niagara Falls once and I’d have to say that I was appalled by the American side — so much rubbish flying around, the town gray and depressing and very, very self-absorbed. Even the attractions had an “I’m only interested in your money” feeling to them. When I entered the Canadian side: tidiness, flowers and a feeling of being welcome… I guess/hope that’s what you get when you visit Germany for the first time too.

        Reply
        • @Katharina – As a Canadian, that makes me soooo happy to hear that. Germany is definitely very clean. I hear some people complaining that Munich is “too clean” which I don’t understand.

          Reply
  26. Hi,
    thats really funny to read that, because i talked with my italien flatmate about it and he said kind of the same. He misses the passion about love. I’m a german and never thought about “german love”. My ex-boyfriends were very old fashion. They opened me the door of the car, and looked on which side they are walking. So there are a lot of different types here i think. But yes, Germans are kind of boring and reserved.
    But i will check out the Canadians in April 😉 And than we will see if there is a Canadian German thing or not *lol*

    Reply
    • @Liane – Oh you must let me know your opinion on Canadian men and what happens. I find them nice, but kind of boring. I love my German husband, but would definitely consider him reserved, especially by Canadian standards 🙂

      Reply
  27. O dear, I laughed like ***. Of course, you’re a little generalizing, you know but mostly you’re spot on (say someone who’s been born and raised German). Especially about punctuality. I spent a whole year in Scotland and I was ALWAYS too early for any meetings or dates I agreed on, even when I had learned to come 1/4 hr later than the time we’d agreed on, I was still the first to show up. The only thign was I didn’t have to wait for 1/2 hrd but for 10-15 min. 😀

    There’s one point I need to contradict you on, and it’s this one: He Will Help You Navigate Through German Bureaucracy
    There are enough German men who haven’t gotten the slightest idea about the how. You’re better off asking a German gal — the ones with at least some education know the ropes.

    Gosh, it’s so refreshing to see my culture reflected in someone else’s eyes.

    Reply
    • @Katharina – Thanks for your kind words and agreed that I’m generalizing. Also agree that most German women are better than men for dealing with bureaucracy. My German female friends have been very helpful…my husband? Only when prodded 🙂

      Reply
  28. I am dating a German man…he is everything this article says he is. He is always consistant, which is such a refreshing change ….

    Reply
      • Hi i really loved reading this blog. I had met this German guy in India(i live in India,Mumbai)for only once and that’s 2 months back. We both connected very quickly. in fact he was the one who initiated and asked for my number. since then we have been texting on whtsapp from morning till night..we are been in constant talking terms since then. its like we just open our eyes in the morning and the text goes or comes. he keeps telling that he misses me..and i miss him too. now he plans to come to India again in May 1st week for 9 days. i am a bit nervous..i want to know what are the things thats Germans dislike or i need to be well informed so that i don’t spoil things the way it going !! pls help…

        Reply
        • @Sharanya – Thank you, and I’m glad to hear it’s going well. Check back for more articles, as I will be writing more about “Life in Germany” in April/May.

          Reply
        • Don’t fret. If you do something wrong, a sincere apology should be enough to make him happy again. We germans don’t make friends easily but when we do, we’re prepared to take the bad with the good. 😉

          I wish you a lot of luck with your dating.

          Reply
  29. and yes i even plan to shift to Germany in September as i would be working there. If things go well with him when he is here on his holidays..we would even ask each other out in Germany.

    Reply
  30. I like how they flirt in a shy way? they soo sweet.
    I like a german guy soo much, he is perfect; respects me soo much, sweet, nice, and gentleman.

    Reply
  31. I’m an American female dating a German male who has shown me nothing but warmth and thoughtfulness as I am accustomed to in the southern states of my country where hospitality and chivalry rule. He opens the door, allows me to walk in first, encourages me to order first, speaks about whatever is on his mind like politics and world affairs or work and family, pays for the bill and then behaves totally normal when we go back to the hotel. We spoke on the phone for a month before meeting, then we shared a hotel room(separate beds) for a week. On night number four he made love to me. He instigated his move by asking me to lay next to him for ten minutes before he fell asleep. Lol! Now I’m going to Germany to meet his family. He’s asked me to help him find a house that would make us both happy in a location we have already agreed on. His family is anxious to meet me and I’m a part of every facet of his world. He flirts with me generously by sending picture texts at night and wishes me a good day every morning. He always does what he says. I have no question he has eyes only for me as his nickname for me is “his beautiful” and all without him ever saying the specific words “I love you.” As for me, I would much prefer a man that expresses himself so clearly that his actions make the words pale in comparison.

    Reply
  32. I’m actually frustrated with German guys. My experiences are far from O.K.
    I do agree that some Germans might be reserved at first, but later would open up. That is what happened with my German friends. But when it comes about guys it just doesn’t happen. They are too cold and distant, won’t have any details, They don’t know how to flirt, they are not sweet nor romantic. They are not sympathetic and not supportive at all. I know there are exceptions, but in my experience most of them don’t know how to treat a woman.
    On the other hand, I dated an Austrian guy who turned out to be a sweetheart! but eventually it didn’t work because we had almost nothing in common, but he is a great person an man. I later dated a Swiss guy who was actually really nice and funny, we are now good friends. But Germans… not my thing!

    Reply
    • @Beth – I totally get it. I’m now used to my husband’s behaviour, but it took me a while to adjust – I also found him to be cold and not compassionate. The good news is if you tell them and show them what you would like, most of them do listen. That’s not saying that they become incredibly sympathetic and supportive overnight, but my husband has made much more of an effort to adapt to what he calls his “sensitive Canadian”. Interesting about the Austrian and Swiss guys, I would have thought they would have been similar to German guys.

      Reply
  33. Love your post! However, as a German girl, I have to say that this is a little to general. Yes, German guys are mostly on time. …And NO, they do lie sometimes. Dated a long time in Germany before I moved to the US and know that it’s the same as everywhere else: You have some great ones but also some douchebags.

    Reply
  34. My german partner and I recently have a big dispute. The bottom line is she’s very disappointed (angry and sad too) that I didn’t trust her. Now she doesn’t want to talk to me for days. She literally chooses to ignore my texts. I’m very sad because it feels like similar to my previous relationship. I understand that she has the rights to feel so, but I still can’t understand why she’s so furious because the reason I did my thing was only to know what I’m getting into and to protect myself in the future if it needs be (it’s a complicated story) 🙁
    #sigh#

    Reply
    • @Koomar – Sorry to hear you’re having trouble with your German partner. From my experience, I’ve observed that trust is very important to Germans, even more so than for some other nationalities. I hope you’re able to work it out.

      Reply
    • First, give her/him? some time to cool down. And then, try to approach your partner by opening up about the things that frighten you. Explain why you didn’t trust. Write it in a real letter — possibly with a pressed flower stuck to it. If your partner values you a lot, (s)he will come around and at least try to understand your pov. It doesn’t mean (s)he will share it, so an apology wouldn’t hurt. 😉

      Reply
  35. Hi
    I want to find out if you meet a German Guy online and he ask you to move in if he mean it. I met a German Guy I have been to talking to sometime , we both fell for one another. I am from the UK but living in the US. but planning on moving back to the UK and possible to German. He texts me and tell me he misses me very much everyday. Even the I love you have come in also recently, Germans guys are hunk lol!
    Any help would be appreciate

    Julia

    Reply
  36. Hi Laurel,
    Thank you for your response! We defiantly planning on meeting one another soon, but my job as a Lawyer is demanding, But he kept asking me when we are going to see one another. They say that German guys are shy but in this case I did not see this. We talk everyday on the phone he always have something interesting to tell me. I find him to be kind, caring and a polite guy.
    He lives alone so I am planning on going to see him and stay with him. I prefer dating German Guys than American Guys, because of the straight forwardness of the Germans Guys. It funny one of my friends gave him a call because she wants to move to Germany and she says he was so shy when she was speaking with him. When she told him thanks for making my friend happy he gave a laugh and did say anything else. But I told her he was not like that with me at all, even our first phone conversation.
    I enjoy reading your blog keep up the good work.

    Best Regards,
    Julia

    Reply
    • @Julia – I’m so glad that you’re having such a great experience with a German guy! Let me know how it goes – fingers crossed for you, or as they would say in Germany, “Toi toi toi”

      Reply
  37. Hi Laurel,
    Thank you for your well wishes! Today is my birthday, my German Guy did a video recording singing me Happy Birthday’s song, I was smiling when I heard it, I think that is so sweet of him. He said to me you make my heart go blind by loving you. My German comes off so loving. I tell him I do not what I will do with him.
    From what I read
    it is so different what they are saying about German Guys.

    Best Regards,
    Julia

    Reply
  38. Hi Laurel,
    Thank you! I wanted to ask if German Guys, when they having problems if they would pull back? Meaning personal or work problems.
    Have a nice weekend.

    Best Regards,
    Julia

    Reply
    • @Julia – I think generally speaking yes, but if you ask them directly if something is wrong, I’ve found them to be more open than Canadian guys. Let me know how it goes!

      Reply
      • Hi Laurel,
        I would say he worked hard in wooing me to get me, because we met online. But now he is more relax now, and compare to what I read German Guys are really not that way. I asked him as you had mentioned, he told me he was having personal problems, but he did not want to talk about this time with me. So I let it go, and decided when he was ready he would let me know. H e let me know when he has plans to do things with friends and family.
        He tells me that I am wonderful and he misses me so much, almost daily. We have not been speaking much because of this, but two days ago he called me to tell me he wanted to hear my voice before he went to sleep. The time difference is also a killer for us. When he is going to work I am going to sleep, so what I am doing is giving him his space. I also let him know that I am here for him if he needs me to talk about anything that is bothering him he can vent. So I am drowning myself with work, But I must say dating a German is defiantly different than dating an American or Scottish. But all is it a cultural difference.
        Laurel I wanted to know if you live in Germany?
        But thank you for your advice and writing this blog educating us on German Guys.

        Best Regards,
        Julia

        Reply
        • @Julia – It sounds like you guys have a great connection, but need to meet as soon as possible. Maybe you can meet somewhere halfway and spend a weekend together? While it’s great to have an online and telephone connection, nothing compares to seeing what it’s like in person, before you invest too much time in the relationship. I visited my now husband two months after we met on vacation as I wanted to see what his life was life in Germany and that was really helpful. I’ve lived in Germany for over 5 years now. Best of luck!

          Reply
  39. They know how to make you feel badly. If you have to wait until their are accustomed to see you around, It can last one year or more, what means they are racist because like people from community, and not people because they are simple people. German are moody, unfriendly, conformist, and without sexual hormones, to not say indifferent to all the subtleties of love and tenderness. All the world is romantic but Germans. Even a Japanese robot is more sentimental. I am not kidding, that is really fucking awesome. There is not way to describe them without insulting them, because they are insulting all type of kindness with their behaviour. They want only be the best at obey their race, they are very tribal, they have the last model of iapple but their soul are in the medieval age yet. They want only have children for the state, live alone, and practice only single activities. They prefer a dog than a chat with a foreigner. If you come to Sachssen, You will see all the parks full of solitaries people with dogs, complete silents, no smile, no laughter, The perfect world to be a statue and do only your job. They say they know Peru, but they dont know have to buy a ticket bus in Lima or how to cook a Ceviche, etc. Leindenschaft only at work and shopping new gadgets. We all know how their are and that will not change. We are very kind with these , disrespectful and rude tribe. I live in Germany and they don’t know what smile means!!! Sie sind hasslichen!! I have never see a couple of Germans kissing in the street!!!! I swear you. and you know what horrible is a world of castrates and eunuchs.

    Reply
    • @Garrafa – I’m very sorry to hear that you’ve had such a negative experience. I’m grateful that my experience has been much better. I hope you are able to find some nice German friends, as there are nice people everywhere.

      Reply
  40. Hi! I enjoyed your article. I just met a German man. We both work internationally and are well traveled. We met as work friends but it’s a big company so I don’t see him very much. I saw him out one night and he gave me a look and smiled so a few days later I asked him out. We had a good time and he thanked me, said the pleasure was all his, when I replied thanks for coming. Long story short we had talked about going to a movie. His exact words to me after saying I wouldn’t mind seeing it since he had said he was a fan were, sounds like a plan. But he never actually sought me out for a second date. After a week I saw him again and he said yes he would like to see the movie but he didn’t know when asking me when I wanted to go. I said I don’t know anytime so he replied he would think about it and I could think about it. I told him stop by my office. Also before I asked him if he wanted my phone number and he said yes but his friends came over and he said I will get it from you next week. Sorry for all the details, but I can’t figure out if he is just being polite and not interested as he never came to get my number. He is a genuinely nice person, but a usually a polite American response is a blow off. I knew enough about German men to pursue him a little but how far does being direct go? Would he rather be polite than say no? Thanks for listening hope you can offer some insight! I REALLY like him 😉

    Reply
    • @Marsha – Thanks for your comment. If he hasn’t asked for your number yet, despite you showing interest, my guess is that he’s either not interested, or it’s not a good time for him to pursue a romantic relationship – I hope I’m wrong, but that’s my two sense. Best of luck and let me know how it turns out.

      Reply
      • Thanks Laurel. I guess I just get this subtle feeling that he is attracted to me by the way he looked at me during our “date”, or the way he waited by the door looking at me after an event but I was too shy to walk over and talk to him, or the way he stopped in mid sentence when talking to someone else to stop and talk to me, and the way he did not stop the conversation even though people were waiting for him and there were pauses when he could have easily excused himself or when he told me he would like to take me out to dinner. I will say I asked him out very casually as in hey I have an extra ticket to this concert do you want to go? But you do have a point that he has not asked for my number. Do you have any guesses why if Germans are so direct he would not have politely declined the movie invitation? I think I am just going to give him my number and tell him I am interested in getting to know him better and having some fun, unless your readers think it is a bad idea. I know you are a busy woman so I understand if you don’t reply. I was just hoping something would work out between us. Thanks again!

        Reply
        • @Marsha – Some Germans do modify their behaviour when they’re around other cultures that are not as direct as they are, especially those that are well traveled. I truly hope it works out for you. Keep me posted.

          Reply
  41. British are better than German guys…you have the best of both worlds with us. The looks, the charm and the chivalry! I’ve been to Germany and the guys were OK, no match for me though..too easy. I got all the fraulines!

    Reply
  42. I’m dating a typical German guy for 6 months now and this article is really true they might be boring, very private, cold, workaholic, not so romantic and so many things but they are also a real Gentlemen and a keeper.

    Reply
      • Hi! I have just read this forum on Dating Germans. I am a 27 yr old man who just recently met a nice German young woman who lives in Germany. She and I have been corresponding for a couple weeks off and on. I have noticed that she is a bit more reserved and honest in comparison to American girls. I would like to know how to tell her I feel and I would also like some tips on how to continue corresponding (fear of not having enough to talk about soon). I do not wish to scare her away. As a benefit and a way to impress her, ive been trying to learn the German language day by day. I’ve even tried singing a German version of a song for her… What can I do to boaster this friendship/relationship? If anyone has any tips or pointers, I am open to them all. Dankë

        Reply
        • @Andrew – Your observations sound spot-on. The good thing about Germans is that you can be honest with how you’re feeling and just tell her. When I told my husband about some of the games that people typically play in North America (i.e. waiting 2 days to call after a date, etc.), he was mystified. The other important thing to do is if you say you’re going to do something (i.e. call her at a certain time), then be sure you do it. Germans take things much more literally than North Americans do and don’t just say things to be polite – if they say something they typically mean it. Best of luck!

          Reply
  43. This was a great read thanks!

    There is a german guy (with a 10+ year old son) who lives in my bldng. I only know he’s german because I heard him and his buddy speaking the language, but they switched to English when I entered the elevator. Anyways, its’ the weirdest attraction, or maybe not at all? I feel like there is an attraction between us, I can feel it. But maybe it’s just my imagination? I always seem to run into him when he has his son with him, and he always says “hello, how are you?”, I’ve never seen him do that to anyone else in the bldng. He always has this huge smile when we see each other. But the one time it was just the two of us, he said “oh, ugh, Hi”. And continued on to say nothing at all, and I left. The next time he saw me, it seemed like he wanted me to stop and hav ea conversation? Maybe I read it wrong. Anyway, its the most bizarre situation of my life, I can’t read him. Some insight into his culture might help to explain things though.

    Reply
    • @Confused It sounds like he’s interested. From my experience, and from a North American perspective, I find Germans to be awkward initially in romantic situations (very generally speaking of course), and if he’s saying “How are you?” he’s 1) very culturally aware or 2) actually interested. Germans don’t ask this question unless they really want to know. Best of luck. Let me know how it turns out.

      Reply
  44. wow I’m glad to stumble upon this read! I currently talking to a German guy, you’re absolutely right about them being ON TIME for a date! He showed up ten minutes early, and I ran late 10 min (I’m hardly late) and then he’s so freaking honest and forward (in a polite manner) to me. He makes every effort to FaceTime me because he’s dealing with VISA BS at the moment where they’ve denied his re-entry into the US. He’s trusting in me, by letting me house sit at his apt, after one date. He doesn’t push me to answer his questions, if I don’t want to answer, he just moves onto the next thing. It’s my first time dating a true German and so far I can’t wait if this blossoms into something more serious and romantic but I can’t wait to find out 🙂

    Reply
  45. wow, I love your post.. some years ago I met a german guy who was pretty much what you described, of course, I falled for him. He spent some months in my hometown, he was pretty nice with me, I mean, he would give me some company when I was doing house siting or supporting me in different ways, we spent a great deal of time together, also, he was pretty funny guy. Anyway, unfortunaletly, he didn’t felt the way I did when I express my feeling to him and he return to Germany. This was’t that bad because I appreciate his honesty and his kindness, he treated me with much respect. After that, I didn’t expect nothing, I didn’t hope nothing and I don’t because, just like you said, as german, he was straighforward and simple. He always was like that, no playing games which I love. So far, we are still in touch, from time to time we email. By now, I’m planning to visit him and he has already offer himself to tour me around Germany along with his family, pretty neat. Although, things didn’t work between us, I’m happy that we’re still friends something that I cannot say with some other guys

    Reply
  46. Your post is very interesting and informative, thank you! I need some insights/help please.

    I have been talking to a German guy for almost two months and we finally went out. Things were going very well and we met every week consistently for three weeks and he expressed his interest for me throughout. He also actively texted me his location when he was traveling out of town for work. However we are not big fan of texting so we don’t exchange texts every other minute but would text everyday just to say our greetings. I like him a lot as he is always genuine and kind. But after the third date (after he tried to crack a really dry joke to inform me that he is back in town and I replied with sarcasm because he unknowingly offended me), he stopped texting me actively.

    So I decided to text him first for the first time to ask when he wanted to hang out again. He gave me a smiley when he received my text but told me he was busy over the weekend. He did explain in detail (who bothers to explain in detail if they are not interested?) what exactly he was busy with eg “so sorry *inserts my name, I needed the whole day to clean up my room and do etc”, I found his replies to be sincere but however not sure if that is because he was just being polite in rejection because he did not exactly replied to my question about when he was free to hang out again. The female hormonal side of me also thinks that something is wrong since he doesn’t text his goodnights to me anymore haha!
    I would really appreciate any form of insights from fellow readers. Thank you!

    Reply
    • @Gladys – Probably that he didn’t want to answer it, or knew that he wouldn’t answer it in a way that you would like. Typically, and there are exceptions, Germans are very honest.

      Reply
  47. I actually like what you said just like my boyfriend we we’re in a long distance relationship he was so true and that what makes me love him more we will be meeting this summer and he was planning to marry me and start a family together, but what scares me is that i am from a far country we are miles away…. I was thinking after he impregnated me he might leave me.

    Reply
  48. Hello,
    Thank you for the article about German guys as I met a German guy. Let me ask you please!
    I met a German guy on online a year ago. Actually I don’t remember exactly what we talked. I think he asked me to give some tips about my country as he was going to visit soon. We exchanged Facebook and started to talk on FB messenger. He wanted meet me in my country but I live in another country so we didn’t meet up in my country when he visited. We didn’t talk much on message but he sent me some photos when he was in my country. After he came back to Germany he asked me to do Skype. We tried to do but in the end we didn’t match the time at all and didn’t keep in touch anymore. After7 months, somehow we started talk again. It was last November. He said he is so wandering why I don’t have a bf. he also told me it before. I told him I wants to have a serious relationship but not many people looking for it in here. And he also said he is looking for something serious. He even said that maybe with me (I haven’t timed it seriously tho) He said I am 100% his type by pictures. I said I don’t know if you are my type as he doesn’t have many pics. Anyway since we started to talk again, he said he wants to come to see me after Christmas. We started to paln what we will do when he comes. We also did Skype few times. And then He really got flight tickets which is not cheep. I live in London by the way so not that far. Long story short, he came to visit me from the first January. I picked up him at the station and he brought me so many German sweets and some presents which is so sweet of him. There was another my friend so we did sightseeing together. I thought he was quiet person but not at all. He is very talkative and actually he has nice sense of humour. I had quite good feeling from the first day. This sound crazy maybe but he stayed at my house. We kissed and also had sex on first day. I was so regret as he seems bit cold after sex. But day by day we got along really well. We have same value, same taste of music, foods, sense of humour… We laughed a lot together. What makes me so smile is when we went to super market, he got me Macaroon and Sushi(I am Japanese) every time. On third day, we went to Bath and stayed there a night. When we choose the hotel, he was considering if it’s good design or not as I am involved to interior design. I felt really sweet of him about it. Nobody did this to me in my life honestly. I felt how he cares about me. Also he paid for it (I asked to separate pay but he refused). And it was so cold so he putted his hat on me and held my hand when we walked. There’s so many things what he did something sweet. Also he carried my water all the time. Very very kind. There’s one more that he kissed my forehead so often instead of lips. I don’t know what does it mean but I felt being care and protect by him. Anyway next day we explored the city and we found a leather shop in a market and he got us same bracelets. He said this is for our friendship! Long story short, We went to some other cities for few days. The last day, we were preparing to go to nightclub. He passed me our bracelets to wear without say anything which was so cute! We went to a nightclub and danced together. He said he will miss me and I am a special girl for him. He asked me to call his name. And he called me my name. I really felt connection with him. When we sleep, we don’t really cuddling but the last night, we Cuddled a bit. We haven’t talked about our relationship anything. But we said we will go to Switzerland together ( didn’t plan exactly at all). The last day, we went to a market and had lunch together. And then I took him to the station. I hate to say good bye but didn’t show it cause I believe we can meet again. He said thank you for a week, he enjoyed so much with me. I said I did too so much. And he told me to come to Germany. I said of course yes I will. And we kessed many times and said see ya.
    So here’s I am confusing now. After he arrived Germany, he texted me that he arrived safely and thanks for a week. And his doctor was his house when he back so he got some medicine for throat so I should go to see doctor too. ( we both had sore throats). I replied him thanks too and don’t forget me. And he said “we keep in touch. I like you ” I told him, “I like you too We are a good team!” And then I haven’t hear from him. It’s been 3days. Actually today was his birthday so I sent him a message and our video(I made it ). He told me he will celebrate with his family so that’s why he hasn’t reply to me yet… But I am afraid that he will disappear. I am not in love him yet but I like him very much. And I thought he feels the same why by his behaviour. Do you think he came to visit me just for have fun?? Or he is playing game?? Or he is just busy?? I am trying to not think about him but I can’t stop… What should I do??

    Reply
  49. Dear Laurel,
    First of all congratulations on finding such a great guy. I wish you two eternal happiness. I am an Indian girl who met a German guy during my recent Phi Phi island trip. I have never been friends or been romantically involved with a foreigner so while everything about him is so new and different and sometimes shocking, I am more at ease now and your article is bull’s eye when it comes to him. Every description just matched! 🙂 We have just known each other for two months but truly he’ s one of the most wonderful men I have met. And after meeting a lot of horrible deceitful men and getting my heart mercilessly broken, my German guy is so refreshingly and unexpectedly wonderful. It’s like getting a wonderful gift without asking for it! 🙂

    His honesty, simplicity, the romantic and caring side which is slow to emerge and subtle but yet so genuine, the give me my time to open up and I will nature, If I say i will do it I will attitude, the obsessive need to plan and be punctual…yes that’s him. N he calls me his Pochahontas and finds me exotic because of my brown skin which is so endearing because I am quite average looking. It’s strange what life gives you when you expect nothing because you have lost hope.This is the first time a guy has told me , “Don’t break my heart” ! I was laughing inside because that is usually my statement.

    I am actually as biased now about Germans as you are after meeting him and while we don’t know what the future holds because of our many differences, I can safely say he’s the most wonderfully unexpected gift in my life .:)

    Reply
  50. Well this actually left me confused! I met a German guy after 4 days of chatting we had to much snow. I sent him a text after work that I wish we have known each other so we could go out to play snowball. He replied ” I have not played snowball for so long time so let’s do it”. I actually thought is a joke I replied,: crazy first date in the snow! Yeah let’s do it, let’s do something different from everyone else. He replied I am picking you up in 30 mins. I quickly dressed in snow boots hat gloves and he was there 2 mins early. I didn’t know what to expect! We had a good time laughing, as he throw snowball hit my face he quickly hold me and kissed my face and apologised. I said I am fine that’s what we are here for. I told him I want to pick something from home he dropped me I grabbed 2 sledges we had a good fun. Then he kissed me in the forehead for good bye. He quickly texted “I am sorry to hit your face , I replied it’s fine really. He texted in the night that he missed me already. On the first date! I said what made him missing me that quick? He said that he doesn’t know but he has strange feelings for me. The following day he texted I want to see you today I miss you, even to pick you from work and be with you in the car at least see you. He did that and he cam 5 mins early . When he dropped me he said I am falling in love with you ” that was a shock so I didn’t know what to say. After that he said that he want to take me swimming, then to gym but not too much as he doesn’t want me to be skinny. It all happened that quick. I said I will let him know. Now reading all the comments here about German men taking things slow and plan and not to say how they feel about you as soon all left me confused. How will I know if he is really genuine? He is telling me that he likes me soo much that he want to spend time with me 200%. That he want a long term lead to settle down within time. That he saw all he wanted in me. We haven’t go into romance yet but he already said that he is very romantic and that is very important to him when time is right.
    Any opinion? Advice all welcome.

    Reply
  51. I have left my home in the states to be with my first Germanboyfriend whi ended up lying stealing cheating and making a fool of me. Then the next one who seemed wonderful (again) destroyed me as well out of no where. Told me he loved me so much and could not live without me then a few months after a lost pregnancy said I was old and unattractive. That i could live here but bever be with him again. There was no fighting or any big issues before this, he was my closest friend. So not to generalize but growing up around New Yorkers and having long term relationships there I have never been treated more cruelly by people I have loved and trusted and been completely comfortable with. I don’t really feel I could trust a man here fully. Its devestating.

    Reply
    • @Lyyne – I’m so sorry to hear that you had such negative experiences. I truly hope that your next relationship is much better (whatever his nationality).

      Reply
  52. Mise well I had a bad experience we had a beautiful romantic relationship with a German for about three months. He wanted to marry me told him I needed to know him better I was offered a spot on the show in United States it was a dating show but I only did it to go on TV soon as I told him the truth that I went on the show he dumped me I told him I did not cheat on him,I did not sleep with him, but he refused to believe the truth I wanted to tell him the truth so I could be honest with him and honest in our relationship but he did not believe me for some reason and just dumped to me out of the blue I will never forget him he was the love of my life .. he broke my heart

    Reply
  53. Awww…everything you mention about german guy are so true. My first experience dating a german guy and i am still exploring him, we met online and after 6 months talking to each other he made effort 14 hours flight to visit me. Now we are working out things to close the distance…you are so true about german is about planning hahaa. And yes i love the punctuality and also straight forward traits ! Its better to have ugly truth than beautiful lies 🙂

    Reply
  54. Hello, great on your post, it goes beyond in your description, great! I rather have a question. I met a German guy a long time ago, about 8 year ago, by then he said I was a friend… Now a friend and I are planning in going to visit Germany as tourist and he has offered me to stay over with his parents and to travel around with his relatives. At the beginning I thought I was going to spend my time only with his folks and for me that was ok… now, so far, he has booked some tickets for me, plans are to pick us up, he wants to travel around with us, he made a rough schedule (which it’s very funny)… some few days ago, we talked by phone and It’s like we talked last week, very friendly, joking and all… It’s clearly that I don’t read German male behavior. What I read in your blog makes me wonder, any insight if I could expect something or do something… or I just shouldn’t be worry about anything and everything is cool and normal for a German guy… any thoughts?

    Reply
  55. If people that write articles cared more about writing great material like you, more readers would read their content. It’s refreshing to find such original content in an otherwise copy-cat world. Thank you so much.

    Reply
  56. Hi this article really helps. I just also wanna share my story. I met a german guy online and we became in a relationship after couple of months of talking online,
    after a month of being in a relationship he decided to go in my country for us to meet and to meet my family when we met he seem really nice and gentleman. He is also talkative and funny, but one thing that I noticed after a week of being together he is not really that intimate and don’t wanna be so touchy, so it made me think why is he being like that? It seems like it’s only me who wanted him, also meeting my parents also didn’t happened coz my aunt passed away and he said he don’t wanna mixed in yet it made me wonder again so I went home to my family and when I got back I confronted him told him everything what’s on my mind and I told him that I think our relationship will not work coz I can’t really feel him as my boyfriend. I even saw him still chatting with other girls and met other girls in my country which he also met online which he claim to be just his friends and he is still on dating site just to find friends which he says clearly stated on his profile which I didn’t check. After saying that, I want to end the relationship he cried in front of me saying that he love me and he don’t want to end our relationship. So that night we agreed to work everything out.
    The next week goes really well he’s really intimate. He always hold my hand, hug me and kiss me even we are outside the street or mall. He also pay all the bills that didn’t happened on our first week after that confrontation everything goes really well, he even talked about marraige and having family with me, asking me where do I want to live, planning what kind of house to buy and even planning on buying properties here in my country. Then when it’s time for him to go back in Germany he told me not to feel sad coz we will see each other again though there is no concrete plan and exact date when is that. When he got back he texted me saying that he arrived safely. At first it seems fine we still talk like before, but as days passed by he became cold and cold like he didn’t call me, didn’t text me like the way he used to. There are also time that he only seen my message didn’t even say goodnight nor good morning and on my birthday I saw him online early in the morning but didn’t greet me, I waited but still got no message from him. So I decided to message him at 11 I said ” good morning I love you ” he replied ” happy birthday ” I said ” thank you I hope you doing well ” but he just seen that again and didn’t reply, we always goes like that. I asked him what’s happening send him long message explaining my feelings and thoughts but all he said was ” you seem panicked, please don’t worry, I love you ” he said that but till now he is still acting the same, do you think he has another girlfriend and just playing with me? Or didn’t he love me anymore or is he not interested anymore? I’m really confused. We also don’t have any picture together even we already met coz he doesn’t want to, he said that he just don’t want to take pictures. Please give me your opinion especially to all german out there. Are German really that cold when it comes to relationship? I’m really confused and son’t know what to do. I don’t know if there is really something wrong or I am just overthinking.

    Reply
  57. Laurel, THANK YOU for this post!!! Although I am dating a German-American, the same qualities are there. I thought there was something wrong with me because I was not getting that romantic response, but he is exactly like you described. My man is sweet, literal, pragmatic, and does many acts of service. I just had to learn how to see his unique way of expressing himself. For the record, I’m Italian-American and accustomed to the Italian/ romantic types. I laughed a lot reading this because I relate to your words. Cheers to German men! Thanks for brightening my day.

    Reply
  58. I love this article so much, I’m talking to a german guy from a dating site now, he’s like a hard worker, doing his master’s degree and working too, he’s like a lil bit cold but he put some attentions for what’s going on in my life, he even asked me how my feet are (cuz he knew that my feet are injured) and for me that’s cute-romantic-thingy, somehow …. make some butterflies on my belly flying here and there when i talk to him lol
    And you know what, he said that he will visit Indonesia to see me after he graduate next year, and let’s hope that he will really come to my country to see me. ><

    Reply
  59. If you desire a boring know it all weak man yet lacking in imagination and manners, a racist shortsighted couch potatoe, go for it! REMEMBER: GERMANS ARE NOT WELCOMING, NEVER BEEN, NEVER WILL BE

    Reply
    • @G – Sorry to hear that you’ve had such a negative experience but I can assure that’s not true for all Germans. I have some wonderful German friends and many who are happily married to Germans. As with any culture, it really depends on the person.

      Reply
  60. I totally thought my German man was so unromantic and too reserved but now I understand.. I will certainly grown thick-skinned from now on✌

    Reply
  61. Omg…I stumbled upon this article and it’s so spot on! I’m an expat living in Germany at the moment and recently started talking to this German guy, who actually does not live in Germany. We met a couple of times before he left and keep in daily contact, but he basically tics every box. Considerate, refused to let me pay at first, but eventually relented. He is very honest, sometimes too honest, but I actually like that about him. And while we don’t see eye to eye in every topic, there are quite a few which we have completely opposite opinions – but not really deal breakers, he makes it a point to hear me out and understand where I’m coming from. But we have a vacation planned together for when we meet again – which will hopefully be next year, and I can’t wait for it! We are still just friends, more because I’m not a fan of LDR, but he is everything I could ask for in a partner. And even though it has been a little over a month since I first met him, it feels like I’ve known him for much longer.

    Reply
  62. Im from philippine, dated with german guy, actually he come back to the philippine in december this year, he call me every sunday, and we chatting every night, but there something i dont understand because his not romantic, sweet, never talk intimate with me. I felt he Doesnt like me, my question its normal character in german guy? Thank you.

    Reply
    • Lory, it sounds like he likes you. Generally speaking, German men aren’t very romantic and aren’t known for saying sweet things. They show it more than say it so if he’s calling you daily, I’d take that as a good sign.

      Reply
  63. German men are honest, straight to the point, hardworking however they lack passion. They know how to have sex to pleasure themselves but they don’t really know how to please a woman, they are not passionately nasty

    Reply
  64. Im so glad i chance upon your article about German guys. I met someone online and we exchange lenghty messages (like its a long essay) and pictures via e-mail every 2 to 3 days for almost a month now. When i read your article point by point I couldnt believe it..its like as if you are talking about him. I had doubts and fears because he appears to be too good to be true. In just a month he had everything planned out for our future..marriage..house..work. We havent talk yet, we havent do facetime but he had professed his love to me already and made plans even sending me gifts via air cargo because i lived far im from another country. He said although we havent met it seems he knew me already and that he knew im the right one for him. He said he had prayed for this and now he found me he would do everything to make it stronger. He told me he is coming over in our country soon so we can make it work together. I am still skeptical because we both came from a bad relationship. He already addressed me as his beloved future wife and that he is my beloved fiture husband. That really got me. I was so flattered and thrilled. I told him in God’s perfect time I would love to be his wife. I hope im not just dreaming. Thank you for insights..More article related to this please.

    Reply
  65. For all of you talking to men online, be careful!!! From experience, they are usually scammers who are trying to scam you out of money, ITunes cards, electronics. I was suppose to meet one in Germany this past December!! That week he asked me for &30,000! Told him didn’t have it. Well I got to Germany, he never showed, lucky for me I was going over to see my daughter so wasn’t a wasted trip!! Word of advice, always do google image or for those countries out there Yanx, also they are telling you they are in love with you just a few weeks into talking to you!! I have studied their ways for a year and have learned all their ways. I will be writing a book warning men and women. I have a friend who his coworker committed suicide because of such a situation lost all his money to a scammer! Sad part the majority are from Nigeria. Please be careful!!!

    Reply
  66. OH wow this is so apt. I totally enjoyed reading this.

    I recently (about a month now) met this super handsome German guy online and we chatted a few times online then moved over to whatsapp. He is isn’t much of a chatter and I on the other hand love to chat, so sometimes it’s a bit difficult for me to understand why he takes ages to respond. I know he cares about me because one time he didn’t hear from me for most of the day and he messaged and called till I was able to respond. I felt really cared for. He also asked me to stay over at his place (no sex) and told me a lot about his family which made me realise how comfortable he was with me. I really like him and I hope he is here to stay. Sometimes a bit difficult to understand why it takes him ages to respond to my messages (he gets really busy, but not an excuse), and when he does, it’s only a line or two. hahaha. I sent him a message about how much I care about him and miss him (because he felt I didn’t miss him), and guess his response? a hug and kiss emojie! oh my I felt silly, but then I thought about all his other good sides and how he said he had left the online forum we met just because of me. I think I am getting used to him because when we are together, he wants to share everything with me and I appreciate every bit of that.

    I believe we are all different and show our emotions and love in different ways. It is always better to understand each individual first before concluding. This I am learning in relationships and sometimes not easy.

    I would like to know though, how easy should I go with him. Maybe not get too upset about these things. Thanks again for this great post.

    Reply
  67. Thanks for this. I’m dating a German guy in Hamburg and I’m from Argentina. Though I appreciate the straightforwardness, I’m sensitive so I guess I need to grow a thicker skin 😛

    Reply
  68. Once I dated a german guy and I can all the written things are true. He was honest, smart, always be on time, loyal and trustworthy but it just didn’t work out.

    Reply

Leave a comment

shares