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8 Fun Ways to Overcome Loneliness When Living Abroad and Meet New People

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Experiencing loneliness when living abroad? You’re not alone. Many ex-pats struggle with meeting new friends and experiencing the ex-pat blues until they do.

Living abroad is an amazing experience, but it also comes with its challenges too, including loneliness. I get several emails a week from ex-pats who share their struggles with me about how lonely they are. Sometimes they’re asking for advice. Other times, they just need to share their stories. There are some things you can do if you’re feeling lonely when living abroad.

Having lived abroad four times – first in S. Korea, then in Thailand (2 different cities), U.S.A. and now Germany (2 different cities) I get it. Feeling lonely is one of the biggest challenges you have when you move to a new city, let alone a foreign country.

I’ve experimented over the years and have found a few different things that have helped me to meet friends and feel less lonely while living in a foreign country so I’m sharing them with you in hopes that they’ll help you too!

how to deal with loneliness when living abroad

#1 Tip for Dealing with Loneliness when Living Abroad:  Join a Group/Club/Team

hikers on a flat section of the Tour du Mont Blanc

I’m a big fan of groups and clubs since they bring people together with common interests.  In Bangkok, I belonged to a rugby team, even though I had never played before. It was a great way to connect with other ex-pats. I found that having a social circle helps lessen the feeling of being alone.

In S. Korea I joined a local gym.  In Munich, I joined two hiking clubs, a book club, and a badminton group, found several groups for ex-pats and have regular meetings with fellow entrepreneurs.

Being an active member of a group is an excellent way to meet people. You’ll see the same people on a regular basis. This increases your chance of developing close friendships when living abroad. It also goes a long way in banishing your feelings of loneliness.

It’s important to join groups around activities that you’re generally interested in so that you’ll meet like-minded people And even better passionate about, something that drives you – it’s a potent combination to beat those ex-pat blues.

If you’re only mildly interested in reading, then being part of a book club is going to quickly begin to feel more like a chore, rather than something you look forward to.

What if there is no group/club/team of interest?
Create one through Meetup.com or Facebook Groups.  It just takes a few minutes and is free to do.  You can create a group for whatever your interests. Whether it be around cultural events, hiking in the Alps,  sporting events, bringing coffee lovers together, or finding other entrepreneurs to co-work with at cute cafes.

Chances are if you’re interested in a topic, you’re not the only one. Other people will be interested too. If there’s something you miss from home, like Thanksgiving, or a game or food that’s popular in your country, chances are other ex-pats do too.

Alternatively, you can join an online group.  I do think it’s better to connect with people in your area if possible though.

There are online book clubs and groups for almost every activity under the sun.  I’m a member of a couple of travel blogging groups. The fellow travel bloggers I have “met” through these groups have provided me with a sense of connection.

These connections have been especially helpful on days when I’m feeling particularly lonely or having a challenging time.

Related Reading: Adventure Travel Insurance: Why You Need It

2.  Connect with Other Expats Through Blogs/Expat Facebook Groups When You Feel Lonely

reach out to people in your new area through online groups

There’s no shortage of ex-pat blogs and Facebook groups devoted to ex-pats living in the same location. By reading through a few posts, it should become fairly clear to you whether you have anything in common with that person.

If you find that you relate to someone, contact them to see if they’re interested in meeting.  I met a good friend in Munich this way and was grateful that she reached out. In a Facebook group, you may find that there’s already an established event that you can attend.

Related Reading: How to Celebrate Christmas When Living Abroad

3.  Make the First Move to Cope with Loneliness

you'll need to get out of your comfort zone and take initiative

Having lived in Calgary for the last nine years, I had gotten lazy without realizing it. I already had an established circle of friends. And I made no efforts to find new ones.  After moving to Stuttgart, it soon became apparent that invitations wouldn’t be rolling in. OK,  non-existent.

I knew that I would have to make the first move. Despite being out of my comfort zone, I started by initiating a once-a-week lunch after German class with my classmates. It was nice to get to know them better outside of class.

I started extending invitations to people I had met through various events. Before long I was organizing day trips to explore the region with a couple of girls. We became friends in the process. Although none of us are in Stuttgart any longer, we’re still in touch.

I held a Christmas party that ended up having people from 6 different nationalities.  In Munich, whenever I find an interesting event, like a great hike, I invite someone to attend with me.

It doesn’t always work out. Sometimes it’s a flashback to dating.  Some encounters will be awkward. You will have to deal with rejection which sucks. 

But like dating, making new friends is a numbers game. The more invites you to give, the more they are likely to be accepted. You’re also likely to receive more in return.

Related Reading: Hike the Last 100 km of the Camino & Meet People

4.  Take a Class to Help Cope with Loneliness

if you're feeling lonely try taking a class. It's a great way to meet people with similar interests.

Language classes are good for meeting other ex-pats. They’re also useful for trying to learn a language. Exercise classes are good for meeting locals.  I’ve done both.  It’s important to me that I have both ex-pat and German friends.

Don’t let the language scare you off of an exercise class.  I’ve done a variety of classes in German. While I haven’t understood every word, a lot of communication is visual.

You just do what the instructor is doing.  I’ve also found my classmates to be extremely helpful once they realize I don’t understand everything. By joining a class you’re bound to meet like-minded people.

So if you love hiking in winter, then consider taking an avalanche training course. Not only will you meet people with similar interests, but it could save your life.

Related Reading: Hiking for Beginners: How to Choose the Perfect Trail

5. Set Social Goals for Yourself to Cope with Loneliness

challenge yourself to meet new people

I find that setting goals for myself are incredibly helpful when living abroad.  Some of my goals have included things like: inviting one new person a week to something (make the first move), signing up for a yoga class (in German), and signing up for an activity at least once a week.

It sounds silly, but setting goals for yourself, it’s a good check to see how proactive you’re being.   I’ve found when I’m feeling lonely that I often haven’t done anything about it recently. Having measurable goals is a good kick in the pants.

Related Reading: 20 Best Hikes in Europe with Incredible Views

6.  Don’t Call Home Too Often When You’re Feeling Lonely

stay connected with loved ones at home but don't use it as a substitute when you're feeling lonely

This might seem like strange advice. But from my observations,  ex-pats who spend a couple of hours a day talking with family and close friends from home seem lonelier than those who spend less time connecting with people from home.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s imperative to maintain those connections from home. But if you’re spending 2 hours a day doing it, then you’re not out meeting new people. You’ll never truly feel settled in your new country.  It’s a delicate balance.

7. Get a Different Perspective by Taking a Guided Tour

hiking the Jordan Trail on a guided trek
Hikers in Jordan.

Sometimes you need to get out of town for a fresh perspective on where you’re currently living, especially if it’s around the holidays, say Christmas and everyone you know has plans – except for you.

Consider doing a group guided tour, like our Dana to Petra Hiking Tour in Jordan. We offer it multiple times a year, including over the Christmas break. 

That way, you’ll meet new people, have a fun adventure to look forward to instead of dreading the holidays, and get to travel to a new place. 

8. Hit the Hiking Trails

The combination of fresh air, being in nature, and exercise is the ultimate concoction to lift your spirits. In fact, doctors in Scotland are giving nature prescriptions to help with all sorts of ailments including depression and anxiety. See How Hiking Makes You Happier for an exercise to elevate your hike even more.

You can either go with a group or go by yourself and revel in the adventure of exploring outside your city. Taking time for yourself will help you feel better so that when you do meet new people, you’ll be so positive that everyone will want to be around you. You may find yourself with more invitations than you can handle from all your new friends. 

These tips have helped me beat loneliness when living abroad and I hope that they’ll serve you as well. You’ve got this!

loneliness when living abroad
This post has been updated and republished.

70 thoughts on “8 Fun Ways to Overcome Loneliness When Living Abroad and Meet New People”

  1. I am poor and coming from a poor family. so i am abroad and i am very isolated. It is a small place and people, despite being nice, are not into socializing more (elderly people, Norway, close knit community)I am abroad only some months but still is very lonely because i have a partner and close friends in my country of origin. I like to hike, but i end up being very pensive about depressing things (How my job at home was lost, how i endured years of depression) and its very rare i notice anything positive. I earn only a small salary, so I have very low budget so no way i will join any club or group, besides there is none here. So most tips dont work for me. Sadly, is just going spiralling down to more depression …. 🙁

    Reply
    • @Mari – I’m so sorry to hear this. Are there are any free clubs or groups you can join? I used to belong to a book club at my local library. The other book group members were older than I was but I still enjoyed it and it was free. I really hope you can find a way to feel better. Please keep trying. It will be worth it. It’s so important to find a friend or two and it’s worth the effort.

      Reply
  2. When I originally left a comment I appear to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now
    each time a comment is added I receive four emails with the
    exact same comment. There has to be an easey method
    you can remove me from that service? Many thanks!

    Reply
    • @Kassandra – That’s really strange as I haven’t had a “subscribe to comments” function for years. There’s no way that I can unsubscribe you since I don’t have this function on my website but there should be an “unsubscribe from comments” link in the email with this option. I know I’ve seen it in emails when I’ve subscribed to comments on other sites in the past. I hope that helps.

      Reply
  3. Dear Laurel,

    Hi. Thank you so much for your most helpful comments. I have just moved to a new country for work and a new challenge, and felt really lonely today. So I left home slightly early and have spent the last few hours ‘feeling the feels’ and resting/meditating in a sense….but your comments above all reminded me of the importance of connecting with ‘others’ in some way when one feels down.

    Blessings,

    Dr. Peter ‘PJ’ Gisbey

    Reply
    • @ Dr. Peter Bisbey, so glad that it was useful. I’m a huge fan of meditation as well but truly believe that life is better when we connect with others – even though it takes time to make meaningful connections – especially in a new country. Best of luck.

      Reply
  4. The biggest thing I find is to make sure you maintain connections with at least someone. I have studied a lot on this, reading currently Four Seasons of Loneliness by JW Freiberg. He talks about 4 individuals who have dealt with isolation and loneliness and how they got there and what transpired. It’s really interesting to see what can get a person to that point. Maintaining connections is high on the list!

    Reply
  5. Hi, I live in newzealand from last 3 years i feel very bored and lonely. I came from a different country and I have different culture and here I don’t have any friends apart from my family I don’t anyone here and I don’t have a job here this took me to dippresion. I don’t know what to do. If you have any suggestions for this please let me know…

    Reply
    • @Anu – So sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time. In addition to the tips in the article, I think it’s important to get out everyday, and try to meet people with similar interests. Often having a similar interest helps to bridge cultural gaps. Best of luck.

      Reply
  6. Hi,I recently moved to the US as my partner us in the military and I am so lonely,he works all day and we live 7 miles away from town and I don’t drive, so I am in my own all the time, its so lonely and I am so depressed

    Reply
    • @Maria – I’m so sorry to hear this. Is it possible to get a bike so that you can cycle into town? My heart truly goes out to you. If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know.

      Reply
  7. Hello! Thanks for the tips, Laurel!
    I believe everything here does apply to every expat I know…
    Especially about moving to Japan. One question, when you move to another country, is it important to also start buying and using media from their region? Because I know of video gamers who import games from other regions and when I bought more modern game consoles, Unlike my parents who used Japan/Asia region software, My modern hardware and games are mostly the North American region (I am Taiwanese who is currently living in Canada). Thanks! ^^

    Reply

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