Congrats! You’ve decided to try and become one of the 7% that make a holiday romance work! If you haven’t already, now is a good time to check out 4 Reasons to Turn a Holiday Romance Into the Real Thing Saying you want to keep a holiday romance going is a lot different than actually keeping it going, so here are 5 tips of how to keep a holiday romance going that worked for me and my now German fiance (J.P) while we did 2 years of long distance from Canada to Germany.
1st Way to Keep a Holiday Romance Going – Keep the Lines of Communication Open
Communication is the life blood of any relationship, but it is especially important to keep a holiday romance going. I found that in order to keep our holiday romance going, J.P. and I discussed our relationship more often than I did with boyfriends living in the same city. I know that some guys are cringing as they read this, but it’s important to define what the relationship will look like, when and if it gets serious, who is going to move (if neither of you is willing to move, the relationship is doomed from the start), be open and honest about your expectations and also to be honest when you’re having a difficult time with the long distance, which at some point both of you will probably feel and question whether it is worth it or not. Since you don’t have the gift of spending time together as normal couples do, verbal communications becomes incredibly important to ensuring that the relationship is working for both of you.
2nd Way to Keep a Holiday Romance Going – Have a Plan
By now, I’m sure some guys are wondering what they’ve gotten themselves into or have stopped reading by now, first talking about your relationship, now planning? It’s important to know when you’re going to see each other next, that’s what gets you through the tough times. Every time after J.P. and I saw each other, we knew within a week or so, when we see each other next. This made it much easier to keep going, knowing the date was approaching when we would see each other, rather than having no idea. We also established a “move date” within the first 6 months of dating, a date when I would move to Germany (we had decided I would be the one to move). This also helped us push through the months when we wouldn’t see each knowing the distance was just temporary. Normally, I don’t like to plan everything out, but I don’t think our relationship would have survived without a plan, knowing when we would see each next.
3rd Way to Keep a Holiday Romance Going – Make Regular Contact
The old saying “out of sight, out of mind” really does apply to long distance relationships, so it’s important that you have regular contact – emails, Skype, phone, messaging or a combination. It doesn’t have to be daily contact in the beginning, since that is a lot for any new relationship, but it does have to be regularly. I think Skype is ideal since you get to see each other and it’s free. If you have a time difference this gets tricky so you may have to rely more on email during the week. We had an 8 hour time difference and some days due to our schedules it just wasn’t possible to talk, but we would email on those days, sometimes more than once.
4th Way to Keep a Holiday Romance Going – Expect Off Days
There will be off days in any relationship, holiday romances included, but the difference is that in a long distance relationship the off days can seem bigger and it’s easy to lose perspective. Some days I would call J.P. and he would be really cranky. I would automatically assume that something was wrong or that perhaps he was doubting our relationship, when in reality it would be 6:00 am his time (an hour early than his normal wake up time) and he would just be really tired and still half asleep. I’ll never forget when early in our relationship, I wanted to learn more about Germany so started reading up on German history, which inevitably involved Hitler. I would call J.P. (at 6:00 am his time) and share what I had learned, thinking he would be thrilled to know that I was interested in learning more about Germany. After about a week of this he finally said, “Can we not talk about Hitler everyday? It’s a lot, especially at 6:00 am in the morning.” In retrospect it makes me laugh that I was really that clueless (and thankful that it wasn’t a deal breaker for him.)
5th Way to Keep a Holiday Romance Going – Do Nice Things for Each Other
Doing nice things for each other is important in any relationship, but especially important to keep a holiday romance going since it can be difficult at times. Sending the other person a card, or flowers (for women) for no reason is always appreciated, but it can even be something small like when you know the person has a big presentation at work, leaving a message for them on their answering machine so that when they get home after a long day, they’ll hear your voice. E-cards also work well if the other person is having a bad day or has something to celebrate since they are received immediately. Whatever you do, it’s important to make the other person feel special on a regular basis, since it can be difficult for the other person to know how much they mean to you when you don’t see each other for months at a time.
What tips do you have for keeping a holiday romance going?
You may also be interested in:
4 Reasons to Turn a Holiday Romance into the Real Thing
Photos by:
Orangutan: Magnusvk
Monkey and bird: Emmey
Great tips! My tip would be to bring more money so she can shop more. More Shopping = Ultimate Woman Happiness.
David @ Malaysia Asia recently posted..Travel Contest January 2011 – RM16-500 in Prizes to be won!
Thanks David and LOL, it seems you know the way to many women’s hearts
I love that first picture! It sounds like you guys have figured out how to make a long distance relationship work. I think it’s great that you are sharing these tips. David’s comment is awesome too.
Christy @ Ordinary Traveler recently posted..Devils Punch Bowl – Cedar Creek Falls 5
I agree with the tips you listed here. My fiancé is Chilean and I lived there for about 2.5 years until I had to have surgery this last summer and it looked like I wouldn’t be able to return to Chile. He was willing to come to the US and live. We filed for all the paperwork for a visa for him to come here and spent many months apart. A couplenof months ago, my surgeon said I could resume all regular activities and I’m moving back to Chile! I’m so excited.
I agree that you need a plan. Long distance relationships only work if the people are dedicated and there is a plan to make the long distance short distance…so to say.
Nice follow up to your “4 Reasons to Turn a Holiday Romance Into the Real Thing” post. Good advice for us all, I think! I’d also like to thank David for his comment above — smart man.
Love the photos, too — very, very cute.
Cathy Sweeney recently posted..On Location in Montmartre
These are great tips. John and I did the long-distance thing in the very beginning and I agree that you can’t treat it like a local relationship – it requires a bit more work and care. Communication is key!
Andrea recently posted..What To Do in Nelson- NZ When You’re Not 19
These really are great tips, and I think they apply to any relationship, but are particularly important when long distance. Congrats to you and J.P for making it! I have tried it before and was heartbroken when it didn’t (couldn’t) work out, but I guess that’s the way things go!
Kelly recently posted..I’m SO EXCITED!
Beautifully chosen photographs. Anybody in a relationship could use these tips!
robin recently posted..Molly
Juat came by to check out the new look after the ‘facelift’. May I say something? The header picture looks a bit faded and washed out. I’m sure you have one with a but more ‘drama’. Just my humble opinion.
inka recently posted..Syros – a very different Greek island
@Christy Thanks and now that we are living together in Germany it was worth it, but it was tough at times, I really missed him!
@Sara – I hear you about the visa issue, that is so stressful when you move to another country without a job. I was up at night for months trying to figure out what type of visa I would get for Germany. Glad you’re able to move back to Chile – it sounds like you guys had a back up plan as well which is another great idea!
@Cathy – Thanks and yes I think David sounds like a smart man
@Andrea – Thanks and I agree, communication is key more than ever in a long distance romance.
@Kelly – Thanks and sorry to hear it didn’t work out for you. Unfortunately I don’t think it works out for most people as it is difficult to get to know each other.
@Robin – Thanks so much and agreed a lot of the tips apply to a regular relationship as well.
@Inka – Thanks for the feedback, I’ll try and adjust the coloring of the photo or find a new one.
There are very best tips of holidays romance. I like the last tips. I think if we do some good for partner then it will be beneficial.
great post laurel! i can completely relate to this situation…
we have beer nights twice a month. i buy beer, he buys beer and we drink over skype… nothing could be more romantic! thanks for the tips!
@Monette – Thanks. I love the idea of a beer night, what a fantastic idea, and something that you would do if you were actually together! Thanks for sharing.
Oh boy holiday romances take a lot! I tried the keeping it going after I met a wonderful guy in Guatemala, but I think the reality of being out of Guatemala made us realize that the moments we had in Guatemala were the only things that we had in common. But, I’m def. appreciative of the experience and will keep these tips in mind for something that develops out of another holiday.
Sana recently posted..Jump on Board a Luxury Zeppelin Air Cruise in 2015
@Sana – Thanks for sharing your experience. I’ve definitely had those experiences too when phone calls are filled with tons of awkward pauses and I think that’s more then norm, but you just never know
Great post, absolutely agree. My (now) husband and I met through Facebook and had to endure years of being apart from each other, but luckily thanks to a combination of all these things you mention and our love of travel (meaning we could explore places together), we finally decided to move to Colombia (where I’m from) and get married
.
We’ve just posted our proposal video online since we think it might help some long-distance couples feel heartened that it can work out! Check it out below.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTtfYSeRP1Y
Love Marcela
Marcela recently posted..A Traveler’s Love Story- The Perfect Marriage Proposal… Mine! -
I love your website title, I hate to say it but monkeys may be able to teach us a little about love.
Dogs and Cats do it everyday.
Travel in itself is romantic. It is nothing but the road and your loved one. Long distance love can work it just takes more trust and patient.
Good stuff.
Michael Belk @romance tips for men recently posted..Gender and society; have men and women switched roles?
@Michael – Thank you and agreed. Good advice.